Navigating the Frustration Tunnel: A Key to Growth for Moms and Kids

As a mom, have you ever felt like you’re stuck in a cycle of trying, failing, and feeling frustrated? You’re not alone. Dr. Becky Kennedy describes this experience as the "frustration tunnel"—the space we move through when we want something but can’t quite reach it yet. It’s the challenge of learning, growing, and adapting to new situations. And while it’s uncomfortable, it’s also necessary.

The Frustration Tunnel: A Universal Experience

Think back to when you were a child learning to tie your shoes. You wanted to do it, but you didn’t know how yet. You kept trying, messing up, and feeling frustrated. But eventually, through persistence, you figured it out. That in-between phase—the practice, the mistakes, the struggle—is the frustration tunnel.

Imagine it like this:

I want to tie my shoes →→→→→→→→→→→ I can tie my shoes

That space in between? That’s where learning happens. There’s no skipping over it. Growth requires us to move through frustration, not avoid it.

The Frustration Tunnel in Motherhood

As moms, we go through this tunnel constantly. Whether it’s adjusting to motherhood, mastering new parenting skills, or helping our kids navigate their own challenges, frustration is part of the journey. Social media may make it seem like other moms have it all figured out, but in reality, every parent experiences this learning phase.

Understanding this can actually be a relief. If you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or like you're “not getting it right,” remind yourself that you’re simply moving through the tunnel. It’s not a sign of failure—it’s proof that you’re learning and growing.

How to Build Tolerance for Frustration

We can’t speed up our time in the frustration tunnel, but we can develop our ability to sit with discomfort. Here’s how:

• Acknowledge it – Recognize when you or your child are in the tunnel. Instead of resisting frustration, name it: “This is hard right now, but I’m learning.”

• Stay present – Avoid the urge to rush through discomfort. Take deep breaths, pause, and give yourself permission to be in the process.

• Reframe struggle as progress – Every challenge means you’re one step closer to mastering something new.

• Model resilience for your kids – When they see you working through frustration, they learn that struggle is a normal part of growth.

  
  

You’re Not Alone—Let’s Navigate This Together

If you're feeling stuck in the frustration tunnel—whether in parenting, personal growth, or life transitions—you don’t have to go through it alone. As a therapist specializing in working with moms, I can help you build resilience, find clarity, and move through challenges with more confidence.

Visit www.meghanmarr.com to learn more about how I can support you on your journey. Let’s navigate the frustration tunnel together!